Jesus shows marketer her hidden motives
C was unaware of the hidden bitterness and parental wounds that drove her back into a lifestyle of partying and drunkenness whenever she was unhappy. Taught to lie from young, she had also become blind to her own troubled heart until the Holy Spirit revealed the truth during an inner healing and deliverance prayer. God cleansed C as she repented. Praise God!
(See Chinese versions: 简体中文 > 耶稣向营销人员展示了她隐藏的动机 | 繁體中文 > 耶穌向營銷人員展示了她隱藏的動機)
I felt my heart and mind transform through my first inner healing and deliverance prayer. I grew closer to God.
But the flesh is weak and temptations are strong. It is challenging to follow the lyrics of the song, “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back.” Not long after, I started to feel detached from God again.
It’s hard to maintain our relationship with God when we prioritise our desires over Him.
I never thought I would go through a second inner healing and deliverance prayer in such a short period after the first one. My boyfriend initially suggested the idea a couple of months ago but it was after an unpleasant incident in our relationship that I sensed the urge to do so too.
One week before the second inner healing and deliverance prayer, I had an image during my quiet time of God holding me tightly in the ocean. For one second, I took the chance to swim by myself, but God was holding my back to prevent me from submerging.
My prayer counsellor also received a word from Holy Spirit; blood transfusion. She asked if I had engaged in any activity that displeased God. Did I exchange blood vows with anyone in my youth? I googled the meaning, related images, and related articles but had no clue at all.
God revealed the meaning of all these and even more during the second inner healing and deliverance prayer.
We began by going back to my Chinese roots. I have never been back to my ancestral village in China and never thought that it had any influence on my identity as a Christian.
I started by cutting ungodly soul ties with the village, relatives, Chinese opera, triads, and spirits worshipped there, including the traditional sacrifices and divination done at my grandpa’s funeral. I repented of bowing before my ancestors and immediately felt a little lighter.
Even though I had no emotional connection with all these, my tears began falling.
My prayer counsellor explained that I was being delivered from ancestral strongholds and the evil spirits were sad to leave.
During the preparation for the prayer, I was also asked to list by priority, what was most important in my heart. My answer, starting from most important, was “God, self, work, mom, beauty, boyfriend, dad, and acceptance.”
The Holy Spirit showed me that the priorities in my heart were just the opposite; I prioritised acceptance, my dad, and myself before God.
I didn’t know what I didn’t know until God first showed me my deep bitterness and unforgiveness towards my parents.
My father has a super bad temper and is easily triggered. He has a lot of bitterness towards his mother (my granny). On the other hand, he is a hard-working guy who helps the family. He is good at craftsmanship, DIY, and repairs many household appliances on his own.
Therefore, I expected my relationship partner to be as hands-on and knowledgeable as my father. I immediately cut off my previous relationships if the person didn’t match this check-list. I became so sick of seeking the right man for my life.
The Holy Spirit revealed that I admired and appreciated my dad because I was hungry for his love.
My father didn’t feed my soul. He trained me like in a military camp. He made me kneel in the living room as punishment, beat me for my poor mathematics results, called me rubbish, and beat my mom for protecting me until the feather duster broke. He cursed mom and me as “skinny dogs” that brought their master harm.
He did not allow me to pursue my ballet dreams. Instead, I was forced to choose science-based subjects in school, which I was completely not interested in.
Why didn’t my dad care about my dreams and school life instead of being a manipulative father?
If I had a chance, I would have shown him my appreciation and told him how much I love him, but there was a barrier between us.
It was very, very hard to go back to all these painful childhood feelings about my dad and confess them if it was not for the encouragement from my prayer counsellors.
That day, I prayed to forgive my dad for his restrictive parenting.
Exploring further, I saw how this broken daughter-father relationship affected my relationship with my Heavenly Father very seriously.
It was so hard for me to sense God’s love. An invisible wall kept me apart and distant from God. Occasionally, I would be able to hear God’s voice protect me and keep me from feeling even more miserable but regardless, I still choose my own path.
Because I felt rejected by my dad, I worshipped acceptance. If I felt rejected by anyone at home, church or work, I would rebel or go out for a drink to escape. When in despair, I would get drunk to numb my heart. But the more I drank, the more lonely and empty I felt the next day. I didn’t realise all this grieved God.
I also wasn’t aware that the consequences of drunkenness are far more dangerous spiritually; I had opened myself to demonic influences.
Some clubs have spiritual rituals and practice idol worship to attract more customers. One day after my second inner healing and deliverance prayer, I noticed a gourd hanging at the entrance of a bar when I passed by. (This is used in pagan rituals to ward off or capture spirits.) Thank God for opening my eyes. I’m more conscious and aware of the demonic spirits in these places.
I was reminded by my prayer counsellor that my body is a precious gift from God, it is a holy temple for His Spirit. When I get drunk, it means I force God’s Spirit to participate in drunkenness with me too.
The thought alarmed me and convicted me to repent and not to get drunk and ruin God’s temple anymore.
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.( 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV)
In my stubbornness, I kept rejecting God’s good plans and walked far away from Him. I turned to worldly entertainment (drinking) that I found more exciting. (Does God want us to live a boring life? God allows us to enjoy life in the world, but only in ways that do not displease and grieve Him. We should also seek the Holy Spirit’s guidance and permission beforehand.)
I didn’t know that I had been deceived by Satan into rejecting God. I took advantage of God’s grace and expected that He would still forgive and cleanse me if I just cut soul ties with my drinking companions.
The truth is I needed to purify my heart. My stubbornness should be used to resist Satan, not God.
Next, we began to talk about my relationship with my mother. I always honoured my mother and treasure our mother-daughter relationship. We are like friends. My mom gives me so much freedom. I share everything with her; my work, relationships, nightlife, and stories from my girlfriends.
In fact, I was wrong. Mom didn’t set a reasonable boundary for me. She allowed my mistakes to keep rolling. It was not freedom but neglect. At the prayer session, I forgave my mom for not playing her role as a mother in correcting and guiding me
My life has been missing two essential pieces – patience and kindness. Arrogance and rudeness dominated my life.
I did not realise I had inherited both from my parents until that day. Dad is very impatient. Mom is arrogant because she is unwilling to speak the truth. She taught me the strategy of telling white lies, how to communicate well with my bosses and peers, and how to capture men’s hearts. I learned to lie and manipulate others and hurt many people as a result.
Our parents are our role models when we are children and we replicate the patterns we learn from them. This is why it is important to seek the right Fatherhood from God Himself. We are called to respect our earthly parents but we need to train ourselves to always ask God first to search our hearts and tell us what to do.
God’s correction and guidance are proof of His love.
For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. (Proverbs 3:12 NLT)
The prayer session also switched my perspective from my own inner vows to follow God more. For example:
- Inner vow: “I will never be like my dad and have a bad temper.” | My truth now: “I will be more like my Heavenly Father.” (Luke 14:26)
- Inner vow: “I cannot cry to show my weaknesses.” | My truth now: “I can cry whenever I need – it is important to accept my weaknesses and allow God to comfort me.” (2 Corinthians 11:30)
- Inner vow: “I must be successful in my career.” | My truth now: “My Heavenly Father is my real boss.” (Colossians 3:23)
- Inner vow: “I must be independent.” | My truth now: “I must depend on the Holy Spirit.” (John 14:16)
- Inner vow: “I need to be strong.“ | My truth now: “I can ask God for help for anything.” (Romans 8:26)
- Inner vow: “I can protect myself.” | My truth now: “God can protect me.” (Psalm 91:1-16)
- Inner vow: “I need to pack schedule every day.” | My truth now: “I need to rest every day. God doesn’t want to see His daughter as a workaholic.” (Psalm 127:2)
- Inner vow: “I need to be pretty and attractive.” | My truth now: “I am unique and special in God’s eyes and accept who God made me to be.” (Psalm 139:14)
- Inner vow: “I must be under the spotlight.” | My truth now: “The Bible says, “those who are first on earth will be last in heaven.” I don’t have to be in the spotlight.“ (Matthew 19:30)
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. (1 Peter 3:3 ESV)
My prayer counsellor told me, “If you reject yourself, you won’t be able to accept those who love you. First be comfortable with who God made you to be.”
After that, I was led to forgive many other people; people from church, relatives, teachers, friends, colleagues. I felt such a relief afterward!
At the same time, the back pain that bothered me for a year was immediately gone. How powerful forgiveness is!
Looking back, I falsely believed that I had placed God at a supreme level. In fact, I was holding a grudge against Him and idolised many other things.
I felt like a victim but unconsciously lied to myself (again) that I was fine. I denied all this. The truth was, I resented God for giving me my parents and my childhood. I didn’t know what I didn’t know until the Holy Spirit revealed all these to me.
When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth… (John 16:13 NLT)
I repented for believing the lie that I was a victim and for a list of judgments towards my parents.
I also resented God for my relationship. Why did God send such a boring partner to me? Having said that, I moved in with my boyfriend 2.5 years ago, in order to avoid my parents. We live under the same roof without asking God. It was already a selfish start.
We argued all the time when my boyfriend encountered unemployment. He stayed at home most of the time while I actively maintained my work-life balance. Our non-stop arguments were like a bomb that could end our relationship at any time.
My partner had become like my dad – manipulative and controlling.
I became more rebellious and ran away to see my friends and drink in order to hide from him. We sought help from a counsellor, pastors, and brothers and sisters in Christ. Our relationship had no improvement until I discerned the generational curses and miseducation from my earthly parents.
When the inner healing and deliverance prayer approached the end, the Holy Spirit revealed two vital bits to repent and confess. Firstly, my mom worked in Malaysia for a few years and got involved with voodoo. This brought curses and ungodly spirits into the family.
Secondly, working from home increased my use of Youtube for home workouts. We have to be alert and aware of the yoga postures the Youtubers may include. I also bought a yoga wheel for stretching purposes that I only used less than 10 times. All this can bring yoga-related spirits into the household that I wasn’t aware of. I quickly repented and cut soul ties with all these and threw away the yoga wheel.
After this inner healing and deliverance prayer, I can say I am a new daughter in Christ cleansed from my sins by the blood of Jesus. That’s the revelation of the blood transfusion from the Holy Spirit earlier.
1 John 1:7 ESV But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
My heart changed after all the repentance I did before God. I now believe God can turn everything into something beautiful. I do not want to go back to the darkness because if I do that, I will become blind again.
I can now thank God for my earthly parents.
Things with my partner have also improved. I am now more aware of my trigger points and lean on God more frequently when relationship problems arise. Basically, I now ask the Holy Spirit what triggered my heart and seek His advice. The more I ask, the clearer I can hear His voice.
I realise I’m the type of person who hungers for love but I should not be relying so heavily on my partner. Instead, I can go to God and seek His love. This helps to keep the harmony in our relationship much more.
If you have had similar experiences as me, I encourage you to start with a simple cleansing prayer to renounce ungodly soul ties and family curses. The Holy Spirit will show you what you need to repent of and who to forgive when you ask Him:
“In the name of Jesus Christ, I renounce all ungodly soul ties to my father and his ancestors, and all curses that have come down from his family line as a result of their sins and idol worship. I command all spirits of (eg. witchcraft, ancestor worship, adultery, sexual promiscuity, victimhood, self-pity, self-elevation) to leave me and submit to Jesus and not to come back. Holy Spirit, please cleanse me and make me a worthy vessel for Your use. Please forgive me for the ways I have made Your temple so dirty and for hardening my heart towards You. I don’t know humility because I used my pride to protect myself. Please show me how to follow You faithfully with childlike faith. In Jesus‘ name, amen.”
Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work. So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. (2 Timothy 2:21-22 ESV)