Jesus leads mother into peace with her in-laws
E had been having problems with her 14-year-old daughter whom she felt wasn’t listening to her advice. The Holy Spirit showed her that the problem did not lie with her daughter but her own unforgiveness towards her in-laws. When she chose to forgive them, things in her own home changed significantly. Praise God!
I am a mother of two and have always believed in honest and open conversations with my children.
I believe they need to develop the ability to think for themselves. At the same time, I have difficulty fully letting go of control.
My daughter has just turned 14 years old and is becoming more independent in her thinking. At school, she has been having a crush on a classmate who is very popular with the girls. He seems to enjoy drawing attention to himself and is close to a number of girls, causing some competition and jealousy. I have been very worried that my daughter would fall for someone who did not value her and get very hurt. I try to warn her but she feels overwhelmed by what I say. Whenever this topic came up in our conversations, we would end up arguing strongly.
Thankfully, I have a sister-in-Christ that I meet regularly. After hearing me talk about this issue for a few months, she quietly prayed to God on how to help me.
The Holy Spirit told her that there were a few people I hadn’t forgiven. When she asked me, I was very surprised because it was true!
I was embarrassed to admit that I have been holding on to grudges towards my father-in-law, as well as my brother-in-law and sister-in-law for about seven years ever since they began dating. This is because my brother-in-law used to date my sister. My father-in-law didn’t want both his sons to marry two sisters so he pressured my brother-in-law to break off with my sister. This hurt her so deeply as they had dated for many years, even long distance, and we all expected them to get married.
I really could not accept my new sister-in-law because she started dating my brother-in-law towards the end of my sister’s relationship with him. I despised her. Every time we meet up for family dinners, I could not bring myself to look her in her eye or have a conversation with her, beyond saying a pretentious “hello”. I also felt my husband was not on my side because he kept asking me to move on. I just could not. I really hated them and felt no one was on my side.
After hearing about my complicated relationship with my in-laws, my friend asked me if my sister was still single. I explained that my sister is now married to a very good man and has a beautiful daughter. She asked if my sister’s current husband was a better fit for her than my brother-in-law and I said yes, definitely!
My friend then asked me to consider that the break-up was actually a blessing from God.
If I was still holding on to my grudges, I could be resisting God’s will, even though it was so painful at the beginning. Shouldn’t I be thanking God for my sister’s family, and blessing my in-laws instead? Shouldn’t I be a good testimony for Jesus instead of holding on to bitterness?
She lovingly warned me that my children were also observing my bitter attitude towards my father-in-law. What was I teaching my own children? Also, did I notice that my daughter is now in a similar situation as my sister was? I could be giving Satan a foothold to attack my own daughter by my bitterness and hatred towards my own family.
I felt so convicted and quickly said, yes it is time for me to let all this go but I didn’t know how. So my friend asked the Holy Spirit to teach us how to pray and then gave me the points to pray over. First, I confessed that I had not been a good testimony for Jesus, then I repented of my bitterness, anger and resentment. I forgave all of them, one by one, and repented of my judgments of them, one by one. Then I blessed them.
At this time, my friend felt that we needed to tell the evil spirits that had held me in bondage to all these negative thoughts and emotions to leave me.
As she did that for me, I felt lighter and lighter. Invisible things “lifted off” me as if burdens were falling off me. It was amazing. My mind became clearer and I had joy fill up the inside of me! I never experienced anything like it in my 30 years as a Christian.
My friend then encouraged me to see my in-laws through God’s eyes and apologise to them for holding on to grudges for so long. I told her I would try.
There was a family dinner with my in-laws shortly after the prayer time. Praise God I felt free to have a normal conversation with them! I didn’t have those negative feelings towards them like I used to. In fact, I saw that they were actually decent people. Even my husband was surprised by the change of my heart attitude.
I’m also glad to report that my relationship with my daughter has improved significantly.
She began to see that the boy’s behaviour was inappropriate and he was not someone to trust. It is okay to know him as a friend but not as a boyfriend. She even thanked me for guiding her in the process. She asked if I had the wisdom to help her because I had been through something similar and I told her, yes of course. She no longer sees me as not understanding her, in fact, it is just the opposite. Praise God!