When comparisons become sinful

As believers, we are to set our eyes on Jesus and follow Him alone. The world, on the other hand, will tempt us to look to other human beings and compare amongst ourselves, often using ungodly measures. How successful? How popular? How good looking? How clever? None of these things will qualify us for heaven, except that we faithfully follow Jesus. God looks at the unseen, into the condition of our hearts. Comparisons breed bitterness, insecurity, jealousy, judgements, slander, and pride — qualities that grieve and quench the Holy Spirit. Comparison will eventually corrupt our hearts.

(See Chinese versions: 简体中文 > 当比较变得有罪 | 繁體中文 > 當比較變得有罪)

As Christians, we should really have only one form of comparison, and that is to compare our hearts and actions with that of Jesus (vertical comparison). Too often, we practice “horizontal comparison” and benchmark ourselves against other people. While this can be helpful at times, it will always set a limit on how we live. Moreover, there is a danger that horizontal comparisons become a form of idolatry; where we can follow worldly standards of success instead of God’s standards.

Jesus’s disciples also compared themselves to each other and argued about who was the greatest amongst them. Jesus corrected them and explained that God judges us by completely different standards from this world. In order to be first in His Kingdom, we may take on positions that can look as if we are last in this world but in reality, we are greatly blessed by God.

Matthew 20:16 ESV  So the last will be first, and the first last.”

Luke 22:24-25 ESV  A dispute also arose among them, as to which of them was to be regarded as the greatest. And he said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those in authority over them are called benefactors. But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.

So, rather than ask, “How am I doing compared to that person?”, the question we should be asking ourselves is “How am I doing compared to the example Jesus showed me through His life?”

2 Corinthians 10:12 ESV … But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.

We become more like Jesus when we study the Bible and listen to His voice through the work of the Holy Spirit in our hearts. The Spirit of truth will convict our hearts when we start to stray away from Jesus and guide us back towards the Lord’s righteousness. 

John 16:8,13-14 ESV  And when he comes, he will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment … When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you.

We will find that God the Father will soothe our anxieties as we seek to know His will for us. He will show us our purpose and how wonderfully and fearfully made we are, because we are made in His image. We do not have to compare ourselves with others. We can be confident in who God made us to be — unique, perfect in His eyes, and qualified to be forever in His presence, through the blood of Jesus to wash us clean as we repent.

Psalm 139:14 ESV  I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.

When we listen to our Shepherd’s voice, He will ensure that we will never perish and have eternal life.  This promise is available to everyone, regardless of how society sees or evaluates us.

John 10:27-28 ESV  My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.

Matthew 25:20-23 ESV  And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’

Practising healthy comparisons

1. Ask Jesus how He sees people

It is amazing what new insight we can get when we ask Jesus what He thinks of the people we are inclined to compare ourselves with. The Holy Spirit will often convict us to love others and love ourselves, just as Christ loves us.

2. Check our inner voice

Often, our perceptions of others are heavily influenced by our personal insecurities, pride, biases, and grudges. Let us stop and check if our thoughts and actions are inspired by God’s Holy Spirit or by our own “fleshly” influences. Only the Holy Spirit will lead us to new life, while the flesh will lead us to destructive ways.

John 10:27-28 ESV  My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.

Romans 8:6 ESV  For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

3. Remember we are always before a cloud of witnesses 

Many of us tend to think that no knows what is in our hearts and our minds. The Bible says that God knows and that we are always before a cloud of witnesses, comprising past generations of believers who are now with God. When we have such a large audience for our thoughts, we would perhaps be more cautious with our thinking patterns.

Hebrews 12:1 ESV  Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

4. Leave judgment to Jesus

No one is perfect, we simply do better in some areas than others. When we judge others, we are essentially pushing Jesus off His judgment seat. Because of what He has done on the cross to purchase the souls of all people for all time, only Jesus has the right to judge every human being.

John 5:22 ESV  The Father judges no one, but has given all judgment to the Son,

5. Choose to bless others  

Beyond not judging others, the Bible goes one step further and tells us that we are to bless them, including those who are nasty towards us. We should pray for the salvation of others who do “bad things” but we should not withhold blessing – remembering that we do “bad things” every day too.

Romans 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.

6. Thank God for what we do have

It is helpful to learn to turn away from desiring praise and affirmation from this world, which is only temporary, and desire only God’s praise. If the servant with the two talents compared himself with the servant with five talents, he might have been too busy to even multiply what he had. In which case, this servant might have received the reprimand that the master gave the third servant who received one talent and did not do anything with it.

Matthew 25:26-29 ESV  But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.

7. Choose to be humble

There are so many verses in the Bible that talk about the virtues of being humble. Humble people aren’t inclined to complain, judge, envy or condemn others because they are fully aware of their own shortcomings. Instead, humble people are more likely to be joyful and content.

James 4:10 ESV  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

Proverbs 11:2 ESV  When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.

Philippians 2:3 ESV  Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Using comparisons in godly ways transforms us more and more into Jesus’s image – not the world’s. Unhealthy comparisons only add fuel to biased perceptions, insecurities, and unchecked emotions. This is something we need to avoid at all costs – because ultimately, we are the ones who end up paying for it spiritually, not the people we compare ourselves against.

Testimony: Turning from comparisons to embrace God’s unconditional love

“Growing up in an Asian culture, I was used to performance-based acceptance and acknowledgment. I remember that as a child, my older brother often outsmarted me at school and church. Many of my childhood friends were also more quick-witted and confident than me. Because I loved them and could not harbor resentment towards them, I turned the blame to myself and positioned myself as always, the less capable one.

Because of this insecurity and lower self-esteem, fear, jealousy, and comparison were constant visitors in my life. In my head, I knew that God loves each of us, but that knowledge does not connect to my heart. I had trouble embracing God’s unconditional love.

During an inner healing and deliverance prayer, I confessed to God that I wanted desperately to experience His unconditional love, yet I could not truly comprehend it. My prayer counsellors told me to ask for God’s wisdom, to reveal how He views me.

As I prayed, an image came into my mind: it was God holding me as a baby, with a row of laboratory test tubes behind him. In each test tube was a quality that could be added to each baby. In that image, I was giggling in God’s arms, and after a smile, God decided to experiment with me. He reached back and took a number of test tubes that were less commonly used and sprinkled the contents on me. Afterward, He looked at me, pleased and amused with His creation.

Somehow the image comforted me more than anything. It was as if God told me that I was unique in His eyes, that He consciously hand-picked my qualities, and that my personality and character – while not considered the most “yearned-for” in the worldly sense – pleased God immensely.

Knowing that He delights in me brought a new perspective to my self-worth.

God might not have created me as a fighter or an intelligent mathematician, but He enjoys seeing me. At the same time, it reminds me that all along, I have been chasing the wrong things. I was too busy worrying about what other people think of me, rather than focusing my eyes on what God sees.”

May this sharing be a blessing to you as you seek to love God with all your heart and turn from unhealthy comparisons to celebrate who God made you uniquely to be.