Mistakes we make because we feel unworthy of God

It is healthy to admit that we are unworthy of God’s love because it is true of every human being. We are all sinners who fall short of God’s perfection. God extends His grace to us – not because we are good or have proven our worth, but because He is good and worthy of all praise. For many, the feeling of unworthiness is unsettling. It takes humility to confess how we feel, seek God, and accept His discipline and restoration. Often times, however, we pivot towards self-justification, self-condemnation, self-numbing, or self-rejection, which only makes matters worse.

(See Chinese versions: 简体中文 > 我们所犯的错误是自觉不配神 | 繁體中文 > 我們所犯的錯誤是自覺不配神)

Romans 3:23 NLT  For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. 

Romans 5:6-9 ESV  For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God.

Here are some unhealthy ways we respond:

• We work | We feel we must do something to demonstrate that we are indeed worthy of God’s love and attention.
• We disbelieve | We find it hard to believe that God will love us when we are so imperfect.
• We despair | We compare how insignificant and sinful we are to God, and assume that the gap can never be bridged.
• We hide | We look at our fallen sinful nature and feel ashamed, fearful, and unclean, and instinctively shy away from our holy God.

We are not alone in feeling unworthy

When we look at some of the mightiest men of God, we see that they too have felt unworthy. In fact, it is this same attitude that we ought to have because God welcomes a humble and contrite heart.

Psalm 51:17 ESV  The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

• Abraham felt unworthy to speak to God, calling himself dust and ashes | Genesis 18:27 ESV Abraham answered and said, “Behold, I have undertaken to speak to the Lord, I who am but dust and ashes.
• Moses felt unworthy to be called to confront the Pharaoh of Egypt on God’s behalf | Exodus 3:11 ESV But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?”
• King David felt unworthy of God’s blessings | 2 Samuel 7:18 ESV Then King David went in and sat before the LORD and said, “Who am I, O Lord GOD, and what is my house, that you have brought me thus far?
• John the Baptist felt unworthy to even carry Jesus’ sandals | Matthew 3:11 ESV “I baptize you with water for repentance, but he who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.
• The apostle Peter felt unworthy to be in Jesus’ presence because of his sin. | Luke 5:8 NLT When Simon Peter realized what had happened, he fell to his knees before Jesus and said, “Oh, Lord, please leave me—I’m such a sinful man.”
• The apostle Paul felt unworthy of his calling | 1 Corinthians 15:9 ESV For I am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.

It is not unusual to feel unworthy of God. It is simply an acknowledgment of our fallen nature.

But if we look at God through our limited human understanding, we will make the tragic mistake of setting a limit to God’s love, grace, and power – where there isn’t one. As long as we are willing to humble ourselves before Him, we will experience His goodness and kindness through the Holy Spirit’s work in us.

Titus 3:4-6 ESV  But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior,

Thank God that He does not favour the greatest, the most capable, or the perfect. He favours those who will submit to and obey Him.

1 Corinthians 1:26-29 ESV  For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.

Some reasons we focus on our unworthiness instead of God’s grace

Before our minds are renewed, we tend to make the mistake of looking at things from our own perspective. Here are some examples.

Mistake 1: We magnify our sins

The only sin that is eternally unforgivable is accusing the Holy Spirit of evil or falsehood. There is no other sin that God will not graciously forgive us for when we repent.

Matthew 12:31-32 ESV  Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven people, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. And whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.

Even King David, apostle Peter and apostle Paul were guilty of committing some glaring sins:

• Adultery, murder, lying, and deception | King David committed adultery with the wife of one of his most loyal warriors, Uriah. He then tried to cover up his sin and arranged for his death in battle, but he repented. (2 Samuel 11:1-27)
• Blatant denial and betrayal of Jesus | The apostle Peter denied Jesus three times during Jesus’ trial in spite of claiming that he was prepared to die for Jesus, but he repented. (Luke 22:31-34,55–62)
• Persecution and murder of God’s people | The apostle Paul used to persecute and condone the murder of innocent Christians, but he repented. (Acts 9:1)

We see that God is not interested in counting our sins and shortcomings, He is far more interested in restoring and renewing us so we are able to flourish in the works He has prepared for us beforehand.

Ephesians 2:8-10 ESV  For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

In fact, the greater our sins, the greater the restoration, and the greater the gratitude we can offer to God. Jesus pointed out that those who have been forgiven much will also love much. For those of us who falsely believe that our sins are beyond rescue, this is the wonderful hope and promise we have through repentance.

Luke 7:47 ESV  Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

Mistake 2: We are held back by shame

Human beings can be unsympathetic and merciless to one another. As a consequence, many of us don’t dare risk exposing our weaknesses and sins. This is particularly true for sexual issues, such as pornography, abortion, masturbation, adultery etc. Shame can keep us hiding our struggles instead of seeking help from people as well as from God. The more we hide, the more unworthy we feel of God.

Proverbs 28:13-14 ESV  Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity.

Mistake 3: We have fallen for Satan’s accusations of God

Satan is an insidious liar and manipulator. He does not cease to accuse our character and God’s character.  When we are not immersed in God’s truths, we can be misled by the devil’s manipulative lies. Satan will target our feelings and plant logical-sounding statements into our thoughts that sound true from a human perspective but are not true from God’s.

2 Corinthians 4:4 NLT  Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.

Matthew 16:23 ESV  But he turned and said …, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”

Here are some examples:

• “I have asked for forgiveness many times, I am not worthy to ask again. (Accusation: God is not faithful or just.)” | God’s Word says: 1 John 1:9 ESV If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
• “God will love and bless others but not me, no matter what I do. I am less worthy than others. (Accusation: God shows favouritism.)” | God’s Word says: Acts 10:34 NIV Then Peter began to speak: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts from every nation the one who fears him and does what is right.
• “I am still imperfect and sinful. I am unworthy of His acceptance. (Accusation: God is petty and calculative.)” | God’s Word says: Romans 5:8 ESV But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Mistake 4: We have bought into a worldly pattern of love

The love from this world is conditional and performance-oriented. It teaches us that we need to:

1. “Justify our worth.”
2. “Show no mercy.”
3. “Accept no failures.”
4. “Reject losers.”

1 Corinthians 3:19 ESV  For the wisdom of this world is folly with God. For it is written, “He catches the wise in their craftiness,”

By following the worldly pattern of “work to become loveable”, we will falsely believe that we don’t deserve God’s mercy because we haven’t “done enough”. God’s Word shows us that His ways are just the opposite to the world’s:

1. Our justification comes from calling on the name of Jesus Christ and through the work of the Holy Spirit in cleansing us. We do not have the ability to justify ourselves, only God can justify us. | 1 Corinthians 6:11 ESV And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
2. God shows mercy, so we need to show mercy. | Luke 6:36 ESV Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
3. We are to be thankful in all circumstances, even in our failures. | 1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.
4. God intentionally chooses “losers” in order to humble the intellectuals, the proud, and the strong. | 1 Corinthians 1:27-28 ESV But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are,

Mistake 5: We are still in bondage to patterns of sin

There are times we will legitimately feel unworthy of God’s love because we keep repeating the same patterns of sin. There can be numerous reasons why we are still in bondage to sin. These can range from idol worship, generational curses, and witchcraft sins, to unhealed emotional wounds that keep us vulnerable to temptations.

Exodus 20:4-6 ESV  “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.

This is not the time to shy away from God. Instead, we need to pursue God for deliverance through prayer and fasting. God never condemns anyone who goes to Him for forgiveness, restoration, and comfort.

Mistake 6: We project our own nature onto God

Another mistake we make is to subconsciously believe that God is just like us.

• We hold grudges and resent certain people
• We keep a record of people’s wrongs against us
• We don’t forgive other people or even ourselves easily
• We favour some people over others
• We like things to be perfect, according to our standards

Matthew 5:43-44 ESV  “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

Therefore, we question, “How can God be so merciful and forgiving?” We judge God’s nature according to our own fallen nature. It is a grievous mistake to reduce God to our level.

Mistake 7: We think God is like the “gods” of idol worship  

Many world religions are based on works to prove we are “holy” or “faithful”. We are expected to bring alms and make offerings, do charitable works, go on pilgrimages, and perform certain rituals in order to qualify for blessings in exchange. There can breed anxiety because we can never be confident that we have done enough. God does not require any of this from us. He knows that we can do all these outward rituals and still not love Him.

Matthew 22:37-38 NIV  Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment.

God’s grace and salvation is a gift that is freely available to all who seek Him, it cannot be earned, so no one is more or less worthy than one another.

Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV  For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Mistake 8: We have betrayed our own inner vows

Many times, we do not realise that we live by a set of self-made rules for our lives, where we have vowed to ourselves to either do or avoid something – not unlike God’s Ten Commandments to us. See Inner vows must be revoked.

When we break any of these self-commandments, we can feel guilty, frustrated, condemning ourselves for the sins we have committed against ourselves. When we feel like we have failed and condemn ourselves, we may also believe we will fail God and deserve condemnation. So, we feel unworthy of God, even though He does not condemn us.

Matthew 5:34 NLT  But I say, do not make any vows! Do not say, ‘By heaven!’ because heaven is God’s throne.

John 3:17 ESV  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

Let’s praise God that we are unworthy 

As we can see, we make all these mistakes before we are hindered by our human viewpoint. It is crucial to put away our misguided thinking about God and turn away from even viewing Him as unfaithful, unkind, or even angry. The God we worship is a God of compassion and mercy, slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.

Exodus 34:6-7 ESV  The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

We see that God doesn’t love us because we are good, He loves us because He is good. He loves simply because He is love. We can never be worthy of God’s love. We can never compensate God for His love. Even when we are unfaithful to God, He is still faithful to us. For that, we can give Him praise for all eternity.

2 Timothy 2:13 ESV  if we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself.

Hebrews 4:16 ESV  Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Testimony: Turning from feeling unworthy to understanding God’s love

“In my teenage years, I became rebellious towards my dad. Looking back, I had lived in fear throughout my childhood. My dad is loving yet extremely strict. He worked so hard to provide the best for our family but would scold my sister and me almost every other day for not meeting his expectations. Once, he scolded me so loudly for not achieving full marks in one exam paper that I passed out in fear.

Without the kind of love I wanted, I turned to an ungodly relationship for years. After we broke up, I felt guilty, ashamed and unclean. I asked God for forgiveness, but I could not forgive myself because I felt unworthy for His love.

I am thankful that a sister-in-Christ corrected my thinking and showed me many verses in the Bible that reassured me of God’s undying love for me as long as I am willing to repent and follow Jesus wholeheartedly. This is when my life began to change. I no longer feel unworthy of God because I know He accepts me in my weaknesses and mistakes. I can go to Him in repentance and He will welcome me with open arms, not because of anything I have done but because of what Jesus has done for me.”

May this sharing be a blessing to you as you seek to love God with all your heart and rest in the knowledge that He loves you regardless of how you feel about yourself.