Break up

We have all experienced the devastating pain of broken relationships, either through irreconcilable differences, migration, separation, or divorce. Research has shown that emotional pain can be as real as physical pain. How do we pray when our broken hearts are physically hurting, and it seems as if all hope has been stolen from us?

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A prayer over a relationship breakup

“Dear Heavenly Father,

I am in great emotional pain and turmoil right now. I try to show people a brave front but inside, I am sorrowful.

Thank you that I don’t have to be politically correct in my prayers with You. You know all my thoughts and everything that goes on in my heart. I am relieved I can be totally honest and raw in my cries and confessions before You, and You are ever willing to listen to and comfort me.

Psalm 18:6 ESV  In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears.

You have witnessed everything and know how I have tried to make things work. Was this relationship part of Your plan for me? Did I do something wrong? Your Word says that there is a purpose and plan for everything, but right now, all I can see is my pain. I do wonder why You have allowed this to happen.

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV  For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Heavenly Father, please help me through this disappointment and heartache. I think about the person I have separated from and my thoughts run ahead of me. It feels like mental torture. No matter what I do, or how much I try, I know that only You, Father, can change and soften someone’s heart, so please renew my mind to stop constantly thinking what I can do to get him/her back because this has been tormenting. 

Psalm 38:8 ESV  I am feeble and crushed; I groan because of the tumult of my heart.

I’m even tempted to believe that I will never find anyone who will love me and I will die alone. Although I feel alone, I know I am never alone. You have made me a temple of your Holy Spirit. Thank you for your Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 6:19 ESV Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,

Thank you that Your Word promises that You will never abandon me, even if other people forsake me. Nothing can separate me from Your love. Your comfort is abundant when my suffering is great. Thank you that You know how weak I am and You promise to hold me firmly in Your hand. I really need the comfort of Your warm protective presence. 

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 ESV Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.

Romans 8:38-39 ESV  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Thank you that You knew when exactly this relationship breakup would happen and that You already paved a way and time for me to grieve and allow You to heal and restore me. I walk around with such a  heavy heart, but I can take comfort that You are also walking beside me – at home, at work, in school and wherever I go. There is no place on earth I can escape from Your presence. It’s just hard to remember that right sometimes when the pain is so real.

Psalm 34:18 ESV  The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 139:7,9-10 ESV  Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.

Thank you that You see everything that goes on in my heart. Please show me any area of darkness in my heart (unforgiveness, hatred, curses, condemnation, slander, gossip etc.) that I need to surrender to You as well, so that I may be pure and heal in a way that honours Jesus, who also suffered pain and heartbreak on my behalf for my sins. I do not want to sin during this difficult period.

Mark 11:25 ESV  And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

Psalm 18:22-24 ESV  For all his rules were before me, and his statutes I did not put away from me. I was blameless before him, and I kept myself from my guilt. So the Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to the cleanness of my hands in his sight.

1 Peter 3:18 ESV  For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit,

Father, please protect me from temptations to doubt You or to turn to ungodly forms of comfort; alcohol, cigarettes, promiscuity, bingeing, self-harm, self-condemnation, hatred or gossip.

When my tears have dried up and my pain subsided,  I know I will see with new eyes what You have prepared for me. In the meantime, I will rejoice in every drop of tear as I know this suffering has a purpose, though it hurts I know it is for my good, so that I may glorify You one day. Lord, please help me change my perspective, to let this loss be revealed to me as a gain. 

Isaiah 43:18 ESV  “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

May I remember to keep my eyes focused on You, the Perfecter of my faith, my most faithful Friend, my one true Father, and my eternal King and God.

Psalm 18:2 ESV   The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

In Jesus’ name, amen.”