Singleness
There are some believers who choose to remain single so that they can focus on God’s Kingdom work on earth. For those of us who are single as a consequence of our circumstances and not by choice, how can we pray about the anxieties and questions about singleness that are burning in our hearts?
(See Chinese versions: 简体中文 > 单身 | 繁體中文 > 單身)
Matthew 19:12 NLT Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”
A prayer about living as an unmarried follower of Christ
“Dear Heavenly Father,
You have said that it’s not good for man to be alone and that a man and a woman are meant to come together to become one.
Genesis 2:18 ESV Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
Genesis 2:24 ESV Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
I confess there are times I grieve that I’m single. I feel left behind and worry I may have missed out on my opportunity for a lifelong relationship. Festive seasons, weddings, and a shrinking pool of single friends are hurtful reminders.
It doesn’t help that this world tries to force me to conform to its patterns. I face both direct and indirect pressures from society, family, and friends to get married. They tell me to lower my standards, to get married at any cost. Society has unkind labels for people like me and it hurts.
Romans 12:2 ESV Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
I confess there are times I wonder if You, oh God, have forgotten me or favour other people instead. Is it too much to ask for my own family and children? I don’t want to grow old and die alone.
Isaiah 49:15 NLT “Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!
Your Word warns me against being unequally yoked with unbelievers. As much as I want to honour Your commandment, it is so hard to meet genuine God-fearing believers. I’m tempted to take things into my own hands and consider non-Christians. When I do date, I’m nervous about facing rejection. Also, see Should Christians marry non-believers?
2 Corinthians 6:14 NTL Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?
Sometimes it can feel too overwhelming and I want to escape to (workaholism, pornography, one night stands, drinking etc.) My flesh wants relief and comfort from the discouragements in my heart. Yet such thoughts are not from You. Your voice is only loving, encouraging, convicting, and reassuring. You bring me peace. So please help me to discern when Satan taunts me and accuses me, so I can command the devil to be quiet in Jesus’ name.
John 14:27 ESV Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
Mark 1:23,25 NLT Suddenly, a man in the synagogue who was possessed by an evil spirit cried out… But Jesus reprimanded him. “Be quiet! Come out of the man,” he ordered.
This world tells me that I need someone to “complete me” so that I can live “happily ever after”. This makes me feel as if I am still waiting to live happily. Show me that I can rejoice in You now. Help me renew my mind so I am no longer in bondage to worldly philosophies. I declare that I am rooted in Jesus Christ and already made complete in Him.
Philippians 4:4 ESV Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.
Colossians 2:6-10 NLT And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow him. Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ. For in Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.
God, please comfort me and assure me of Your presence on a daily basis. I have very tangible emotional and sexual desires that I need to lay at Your feet every day. Help me not to sin against You and against my own body.
1 Corinthians 6:18 ESV Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
Jesus, You were single for many years as well and watched all your siblings and friends settle down with children. There must have been times You were tempted as I am. Thank you that You know how I feel. I repent for all the times I have fallen into self-pity and secretly resented You. Please teach me how to seek comfort from God first, as You did.
Hebrews 4:15 ESV For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.
Show me the lies that I have come to believe about myself. Have my views of love been clouded by the “teachings” of other human beings, fantastical romance stories, or tragic love songs? If so, I cut ungodly soul ties with (please list them) and seek to turn over all of my mind and heart to You, oh God.
Deuteronomy 6:5 ESV You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
Am I desiring to be married so as to “escape” an unhappy home and create my own ideal version of a perfect family? If so, please forgive me. Love is not self-seeking.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NIV Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Marriage can bring more troubles and I don’t know if You are sparing me from further disappointment and heartache. Whatever the case, I choose to thank You for this season of my life. There are many things I can thank you for; (please list them eg. flexibility in time, financial independence, time to learn new skills and pursue things I love etc.)
1 Corinthians 7:32-35 ESV I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-19 ESV Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit.
If I have ever worshipped at the altar of marriage, I now repent. Please forgive me. This world has turned the sacred covenant of marriage into many other things, mostly without You in the centre.
I also forgive anyone who has pressurised me to get married and anyone who led me to falsely believe they wanted to be with me. I cut ungodly soul ties with them. Where there are generational curses of singleness and sorrow that have been passed down to me through my family line, I now renounce them in Jesus’ name.
Mark 11:25 ESV And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
Father, Your Word describes Your relationship with us on earth as a marriage. If I don’t meet someone to marry, help me see that having You as my ever-present Partner is a precious gift. No human being will love me as You do.
Ephesians 5:22-27 ESV Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Holy Spirit, please convict me whenever I start to envy other people, instead of bless them. Bitterness and jealousy poison my heart and will give Satan more opportunities to plant more lies and heartache in my heart. Keep me sober-minded.
Hebrews 12:15 ESV See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
If I never have a lifelong partner in this lifetime, teach me to accept it and satisfy me in other ways. Bring people into my life who will be faithful and godly companions, who will share life with me and not consider me a burden, but a joy, to be with.
Show me the good things You have prepared for me in my lifetime so that I will experience deep satisfaction in other areas of my life and deep joy in serving others with my spiritual gifts. Send me frequent reminders of Your soothing love and help me learn how to be content in whatever situation I find myself in.
Ephesians 2:10 NLT For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
Philippians 4:11 ESV Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.
If being married will distract and turn me away from following You, I rather choose You than lose my soul.
Mark 8:36 ESV For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?
Thank you for being faithful! Continue to uphold me with Your righteous right hand. I look forward to a life of intimacy with You from now til eternity, oh God. Lord, be my First Love!
Isaiah 41:10 ESV Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Also, see testimony: Jesus sets counsellor free from emotional adultery