Seeking God’s salvation from masturbation

The word “masturbation” may not be explicitly mentioned in the Bible, but as followers of Jesus Christ, we are called to have self-control over our fleshly compulsions. But is this really possible? For many, masturbation is a private indulgence that is associated with legitimate biological urges, as well as guilt and conflicting thoughts. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead is able to give us the power to live a new life. In this post, we tackle a taboo subject from both a biblical and practical perspective, and include observations from believers who have crucified their compulsive cravings to self-stimulate through the Holy Spirit’s cleansing and renewal.

(See Chinese versions: 简体中文 > 从手淫自慰中寻求神的救赎 | 繁體中文 > 從手淫自慰中尋求神的救贖)

 

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 ESV  For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;

Galatians 5:22-24 ESV  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

The Bible acknowledges that our sexual desires and biological yearnings can cause us to “burn with passion.” Masturbation is often used to put out this “fire” with the rationale that it does not involve actual intercourse and offers some physical relief and soothing gratification.

1 Corinthians 7:9 ESV  But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

An honest look at some facts about masturbation

During masturbation, the body releases hormones; namely dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin, testosterone, and prolactin; which collectively produce a boost in pain relief, positive mood change, and sex drive.

Over time, this “feel good” feedback loop trains our bodies and minds to crave this direct self-gratification as a quick fix for our biological urges, anxiety, boredom, and stress. Dopamine is the hormone behind the brain’s pleasure-reward system that reinforces our cravings and leads us to seek out the same rewards in future. Endorphins reduce pain and boost pleasure, resulting in a feeling of well-being. Both have significant roles to play in fostering addictions.

Regardless of what people may say about being able to choose when and where they masturbate, the fact is, masturbation is addictive.

Over time, anyone with a pattern of masturbating will notice a gradual increase in their compulsions to:

• Turn to masturbation whenever they feel stressed, lonely, upset, angry, hurt, frustrated, or unable to sleep
• Masturbate even when there are no sexual urges
• Think about masturbation, and become aroused by remarks that are not intended to be sexual in nature
• Seek out more and more sexual stimulation, at times resorting to using objects
• Masturbate outside the home, in public places
• Impulsively touch their private parts, even in the presence of other people

Some people report having to take breaks at work just to masturbate or not being able to sleep without masturbating. Some husbands and wives confess to secretly masturbating because this has become the only way they can satisfy their sexual cravings. Regular masturbation numbs one’s sensitivity and can make sex with a real person feel less satisfying by comparison. Moreover, it takes much more effort just to reach a climax. Thus, it can also drive some to indulge in behaviour that one could call sexually perverted, leading to more guilt and shame.

Deeply satisfying sexual intimacy involves open communication, tender loving patience, and strong emotional connection. Masturbation requires none of these from us. In fact, it drives us in the opposite direction. We don’t have to communicate our needs to anyone, practice patience, or connect heart-to-heart with another person.

We can get real with God about our temptations

In spite of all these facts, some Christians may still feel that it is too hard to resist the temptation to think about masturbating. It doesn’t help that we are bombarded by sensual imagery and sex-related news every day; from advertising, celebrity gossip, and “entertainment” to the arts and politics.

During biblical times, people were deemed responsible for themselves much earlier. Men and women would have been married in their teens, shortly after reaching puberty, just as they entered their sexual prime and were ready to be fruitful and multiply, just as God has ordained.

Genesis 1:27-28 ESV  So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth…

Our sexual desires are good, because they were given to us by God to peak when we are most fertile. The problem is not our sex drive. Rather, it is because we now put marriage off until 10-20 years after puberty or put it off altogether. We have been left with our sexual urges but without a wife or husband to have sex with. Some people’s sex drives are higher than others and they may feel their struggles with singlehood more intensely.

Before we are tempted to be discouraged, let us not forget that Jesus remained unmarried until His death at 33. As a fully human man, He would have endured the same burning passions as we do too. Yet He never sinned. How was this possible? It is because Jesus was filled with the Holy Spirit and was strengthened to resist temptations from the devil.

Luke 4:1-2 ESV  And Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness for forty days, being tempted by the devil…

God’s Word also tells us that Jesus fully knows and empathises with our struggles. Therefore, we can approach God’s throne with confidence to ask for His help in our time of need. God wired our sexual instincts, so who better than our Creator to help us with the compulsive urges of our flesh? He knows the workings of our bodies more intimately than we do. God is gracious and merciful, He will not turn us away.

Hebrews 4:15-16 NIV  For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

• God does not condemn us when we fall into temptation, He wants to help us. He has demonstrated this by sending His Son to endure the same sufferings as mankind, and save us. | John 3:17 ESV  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
• God never forsakes us – even during and after masturbation. He is still with us, urging us to repent and learn how to lean on Him to resist better the next time. | Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV  Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
• God is never the one who tempts, torments, or accuses us. That is what Satan does to people, not God. | James 1:13 ESV  Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one.
• God has already prepared a way of escape for us – if we are willing to listen, obey and persevere. | 1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV  No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
• The Holy Spirit will take responsibility for renewing our desires and regenerating us from the inside out – if we are willing to surrender our will to Him. | Titus 3:3-6 ESV  For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures… But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us… by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior,

The battle begins with our biggest sex organ

Scientists will tell you that the biggest sex organ in the body is our brain.

The brain plays a crucial role in how we control and process our decisions, emotions, memories, senses, movements and so forth, all of which are engaged during masturbation.

The mind is also where Satan begins his battle over us. if the devil is able to manipulate our impulses and desires though our thoughts and control our choices, he wil be able to get us to sin against God. The more we sin, the more Satan can come and accuse and oppress us.

Ephesians 2:2-3 NLT  You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil—the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature…

The devil usually takes a two-pronged approach. First, he harasses us with different excuses to masturbate, giving us no peace (a clear sign this is not of God). Satan’s temptations will sound something like this; “Masturbation is just physical, it is not a sin,” “I can masturbate without fantasising about sex or lusting after anyone,” “It’s better than adultery,” “There are some health benefits to masturbation,” “It is my duty to meet the needs of the body that God has given me,” or “I need to masturbate now!”

1 Timothy 4:1 NIV  The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons.

Once we give in and masturbate, the devil then returns with accusations day and night with, “Why can’t I control my own urges?” “I feel so ashamed for giving in to my carnal desires again,” “I feel dirty and defiled,” “I am so angry with myself,” “I am convinced God won’t listen to my prayers anymore,” or “How can God love someone like me?”

Revelation 12:9-10 NIV  The great dragon was hurled down–that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him. Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down.

For thousands of years, Satan, the god of this world, has been holding people in bondage by making us doubt our ability to resist him and God’s willingness to help us.

2 Corinthians 4:4 NLT  Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.

In reality, we ought to be thinking about masturbation this way:

• “My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and I am joined to the Lord to become one spirit with Him. Should I be masturbating God’s Spirit?” | 1 Corinthians 6:17-18 ESV   But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
• “There is a “cloud of witnesses” that always watches me from heaven. How do I feel about masturbating in front of them?” | Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV  Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
• “There is a battle between the desires of the Holy Spirit and desires of my flesh. Will I choose to let the Holy Spirit guide me or will I let my flesh guide me?” | Galatians 5:16-17,19 NLT  So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures,

The Holy Spirit does not miraculously remove our fleshly passions. Instead, He heals us of our anxieties and trains us in discipline and endurance, so that we become strong resistance fighters against Satan’s temptations. This is what a good Father will do; to train us in righteousness.

Titus 2:11-12 ESV  For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age,

James 4:7 ESV  Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Being renewed in Christ

In Galatians 5, the apostle Paul explains that we need to crucify the passions and desires of our flesh, which “wage war against our souls” by luring us to submit to “sexual immorality, impurity, and sensuality.”

Galatians 5:16,22-24 ESV  But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. …the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

1 Peter 2:10-11 ESV  … now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.  Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.

Galatians 5:19 ESV  Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,

We should take note that this is not about legalistic, pious self-denial. Rather, it is about having our spirits, souls and minds thoroughly cleansed and renewed by the Holy Spirit over time, so that we leave no foothold for the devil to tempt us.

Colossians 2:20-23 NLT  You have died with Christ, and he has set you free from the spiritual powers of this world. So why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? Such rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them. These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires.

Ephesians 4:27 ESV  and give no opportunity to the devil.

As a result, we will no longer feel the need to masturbate or follow the carnal and sexualised patterns of this world.

Romans 12:2 ESV  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Also, see:
The urgent truth about repentance
Living a holy life, free from sin’s power

Here are a few areas that we will need the Holy Spirit to cleanse and renew us in.

1. Idol worship

God’s Word shows us that idol worship invariably leads people to do degrading things to their bodies.

Romans 1:22-24 NLT  Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools. And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people and birds and animals and reptiles. So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies.

Therefore, the first thing we ought to do is to examine from our own lives is for any incident where we participated in idol worship, whether passively or actively. It may have involved eating food or drink offered to idols, visiting temples, taking part in pagan funerals or ancestor worship, using lucky charms, consulting fortune tellers, buying Buddha figurines, checking horoscopes online, and so forth. The Bible equates this with worshipping demons, all of which give Satan a foothold in our lives. For more on this topic, please visit section on the Occult in this website.

Revelation 9:20-21 ESV  The rest of mankind, who were not killed by these plagues, did not repent of the works of their hands nor give up worshiping demons and idols of gold and silver and bronze and stone and wood, which cannot see or hear or walk, nor did they repent of their murders or their sorceries or their sexual immorality or their thefts.

Spiritually defiling activities also include new age “healing” or life-enhancing exercises that are said to also improve one’s sex life or prowess. These include opening one’s chakra, tantric massages, taoist rituals, qigong, breathing control, and so forth. God’s Word calls all this idolatry, where we covet our own fleshly sensual passions rather than submit our bodies to God for His use.

Colossians 3:5 ESV  Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

1 Corinthians 6:13 ESV  … The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

Most of us may be tempted to dismiss all this as irrelevant. The devil will try to convince us that repenting and being forgiven by God for such activities is not relevant, not important, and not necessary. God’s Word calls all forms of idol worship “filthy” in the Lord’s sight. As a thief and a liar, the devil naturally does not want his filthy access points known and removed. Also, see Satan’s dangerous web of “advice”

2 Corinthians 6:16 NLT  And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said: “I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people. Therefore, come out from among unbelievers, and separate yourselves from them, says the LORD. Don’t touch their filthy things, and I will welcome you.

To come clean before God, we ought to:

• Make a personal inventory of any idol worship or idolatry we have been part of
• Repent of taking part, whether knowingly or unknowingly, in all forms of idolatry in Jesus’ name
• Cut ungodly soul ties with those who led us in such activities and forgive them; this may include temple priests, our relatives and friends, and so forth
• Purge and cleanse our home of objects that glorify sex or demons by destroying them and throwing them away
• Command the demonic spirits that have oppressed us to leave in Jesus’ name and never return in Jesus’ name
• Invite the Holy Spirit to wash us clean and give us a fresh start

1 John 1:9 ESV  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

It is important to be intentional in identifying all of Satan’s footholds, so that we can repent and remove his access to our thoughts as far as possible. This is something we ought to take seriously because Jesus has already warned us that Satan is only out to steal from and destroy us. If we find that our memory is foggy and we don’t seem to recall incidences of idol worship, we should consider fasting and asking the Holy Spirit to help us remember. He will help us.

John 10:10 ESV  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

John 16:13 NIV  But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.

See this testimony about fasting: Jesus frees manager to receive full gift of tongues

Also, see:
Ungodly soul ties must be cut
Spiritual pollution of homes, districts and territories
The significance of fasting
A prayer to prepare us for fasting

2. Early sexual defilement

In the book, Song of Solomon, God’s Word shines the spotlight on not being sexually awakened or aroused before our time. This is especially true for children who have not developed the maturity to handle its sensual, emotional, or moral implications.

Song of Solomon 8:4 NIV  Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.

As children, we may have been exposed to sexually explicit images and pornographic material by accident or perhaps even intentionally by an adult. Sadly, this is not uncommon today, given that about half of the top 10 global websites are porn sites that feed the world’s carnal lusts. Jesus has said that it is better to lose an eye than be thrown into hell for dishonouring another person to satisfy our own burning passions.

Matthew 5:28-29 ESV  But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.

Such early exposure of sexual immorality can leave lasting negative effects on young impressionable minds. Scientists say that watching porn can literally rewire a child’s brain and change the way we view sex or our bodies.

Pre-mature exposure to sexuality can also happen as a result of molestation, abuse, and rape, overly-explicit sex education, watching adults having sex, seeing their nakedness, or even inappropriate touching amongst children.

Leviticus 18:6 ESV  “None of you shall approach any one of his close relatives to uncover nakedness. I am the Lord.

Such experiences spiritually defile our bodies, but thank God that we can cleanse ourselves of such dishonourable stains from our past.

2 Timothy 2:21-22 ESV  Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work. So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

To be washed clean, we ought to:

• Forgive those who led us down a path of sexual perversion and immorality early in Jesus’ name
• Cut ungodly soul ties to the porn actors, models, adults and relatives we have seen engaging in sexual activities or exposing their nakedness to us as children in Jesus’ name
• Repent for our own sexualised copy-cat behaviour in Jesus’ name
• Repent for committing adultery in God’s eyes by looking lustfully at another person’s body in Jesus’ name
• Repent for dishonouring the temple of the Holy Spirit in Jesus’ name
• Cast out all unclean spirits that entered through the defilement of our bodies, souls, and minds, as directed by the Holy Spirit
• Invite the Holy Spirit to wash us clean and give us a fresh start

Titus 3:5 NLT  he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit.

Also, see Survey findings: Why Christians use porn and how to break free

3. Emotional wounds

The brain is the centre for our emotions and memories as well as our sexual desires. These are often subconsciously linked, although we may not realise it. For example, one may masturbate in response to uncomfortable feelings more than actual sexual urges.

Research shows that addiction to masturbation can be the result of unresolved childhood fear, shame, rage, despair and grief, where children start to use masturbation as a self-soothing response to one’s inner turmoil when there were no adults around that we felt comforted, reassured, or taught by. Masturbation becomes a private, self-administered, pleasant “escape” from our anxieties, because of the dopamine and endorphins released.

This response may be so hardwired in our bodies for so long that we no longer know or remember what started it all. To get to the root of the subconscious emotions that trigger our desire to escape to masturbation, the Bible instructs us to confess to a God-fearing believer and seek the Holy Spirit’s revelation and healing together, through prayer and fasting. Sadly, the shame around masturbation keeps us in darkness, when this soul-destroying behaviour is far more common than people care to admit. Masturbation is also a scourge that afflicts church pastors.

James 5:16 ESV  Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Every person’s anxieties are different and their healing from God will also different. The crucial thing is to wait on God for answers and confess our hurts and pains to Him. Healing comes from forgiving those who have left deep wounds in our hearts and our souls, no matter how long ago it may have happened. Otherwise, the undercurrent of “bad” emotions will still be stuck inside us and it is these unresolved emotions that Satan will use to oppress us.

1 Peter 5:7-8 NIV  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

The good news is that God wants to heal our broken hearts and set us free, but we need to be willing to cooperate.

Isaiah 61:1 ESV  The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

To receive God’s healing, we need to:

• Find a caring, non-judgmental God-fearing believer to confess to and pray with
• Make a time to be still together and ask the Holy Spirit, “Please show us why I have this compulsion to masturbate. What are my hidden motives and feelings? What has caused this and who do I need to forgive? Do I need to forgive myself for anything?”
• The Holy Spirit will usually bring back a memory of a specific event or a period of our lives where there was pain and anxiety that we stuffed down in our hearts. Please do not hold back from grieving with God over the sins that other people have committed against us, even if they were unintended. Pain is still pain, no matter what was the cause. Plus, tears are the body’s mechanism to release suppressed sadness, grief, anxiety, and frustration and are part of our healing process. Even God cries, so let us follow His example.
• Next, we can verbalise and express all our hidden judgments, resentments and hatred towards the people who have hurt us and repent to God for holding on to bitterness inside our hearts, as this grieves the Holy Spirit. We may find ourselves having to confess to also secretly doubting and judging God for not being good or not protecting us.
• Cast out all unclean spirits that entered through our emotional wounds, as directed by the Holy Spirit.
• The most crucial part of healing is forgiving those who have hurt us and choosing to bless them. Then, we can invite the Holy Spirit to cleanse us and give us a new beginning.

Jeremiah 17:1 NLT  But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.”

Luke 6:27-28 ESV  “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.

See these testimonies about sex-related addictions from childhood:
Jesus shows counsellor root to struggles with porn
Jesus frees lawyer from sexual bondage 

Also, see Unhealed trauma affects our spiritual growth

4. Sexual perversion and immorality in our family line

The Bible shows that spiritual blessings and judgements flow from one generation to the next. Just as we inherit our biological DNA through our family lines, we also inherit a spiritual imprint based on what our forefathers have done during their lifetimes. This stronghold can be particularly evident if they have dedicated us to the idols and spirits they worship.

Numbers 14:18 ESV  ‘The Lord is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, forgiving iniquity and transgression, but he will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, to the third and the fourth generation.’

If we draw up a detailed family tree mapping out four generations of behavioural patterns, we will probably notice actual or suspected evidence of adultery, promiscuity, use of or the offering of prostitution, sexual bondage and pornography, and various forms of sexual immorality and perversions that defile the marriage bed.

Hebrews 13:4 ESV  Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

Thank God that we can renew our spiritual heritage in Christ

To be cleansed from the stains of our ancestral sins, we ought to:

• Confess all the known sins of our forefathers in Jesus’ name
• Forgive our parents if they conceived us outside marriage or wanted to abort us in Jesus’ name
• Cut ungodly soul ties with our family members in Jesus’ name
• Cast out all unclean spirits that entered through our family line, as directed by the Holy Spirit
• Ask God to cleanse our bodies and make us new creations in Christ

Keeping our bodies pure

Our renewal and regeneration by the Holy Spirit is an ongoing journey, and we need to be careful not to fall back into the old patterns again. The Holy Spirit will keep us out of trouble if we are willing to listen and learn from Him.

Psalm 143:10-11 ESV  Teach me to do your will, for you are my God! Let your good Spirit lead me on level ground! For your name’s sake, O LORD, preserve my life! In your righteousness bring my soul out of trouble!

As we continue to invite the Holy Spirit to cleanse us, we will find that our compulsive fleshly urges will also quieten down – not just in the area of masturbation, but also other areas of our lives too.

We will also get to experience the fullness of the Holy Spirit more and more. Where we might have fought and struggled to keep our urge to masturbate under control, we will now find that there is little need to fight because the burning passions of our sinful nature have already been crucified in Jesus’ name. We will start to experience a deep rest and peace that is beyond understanding, just as the two testimonies from Sheryl and Matthew (not their real names) below show. Praise God!

Romans 6:12-14 NLT  Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires. Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.

Philippians 4:6-7 ESV do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Sheryl’s testimony

“I was addicted to masturbation for over 30 years until the Holy Spirit led me to freedom through forgiveness.

I was probably around five years old when I accidentally found my dad’s pornography magazines. At first, it was a shock to my system; I was drawn by my curiousity and repulsed by the images at the same time. I was also afraid. Why did my father have such material? Didn’t he love my mother? Why did he need to look at other women? Was this what grown-ups did to each other? Why were the men violent to the women? Am I safe around my own father? 

I knew my dad had hidden these things from my mom, so I couldn’t tell anyone. It was a secret I carried in my heart for decades. 

It was also around that time that I started masturbating, mimicking some of the things I saw even though I found them disgusting.

Later, my father was unfaithful to my mother and married another woman. 

By that time, I had become so addicted to masturbation that I couldn’t sleep until I had masturbated. After I was married, I continued to secretly masturbate because I was too ashamed to tell my husband about my addiction.

Many years later, I was receiving prayer counseling when the Holy Spirit brought back the long-buried memory of the day I picked up my father’s porn magazines. That was the first time I was exposed to sexual sin as a child. I knew it must have been God’s revelation because I hadn’t told anyone.

That day, I was led by my counsellor to forgive my father for his sexual perversions and his unfaithfulness and betrayal of our family and cut ungodly soul ties with him. I must admit it wasn’t easy to forgive him because we all felt betrayed by my father and I had carried his “dirty little secret” in my heart for so many years. But as I forgave him, I felt as if some invisible “cloud” left me.

Afterward, I also noticed that I didn’t have the urge to masturbate anymore. It was as if some bondage from my father’s sins was broken and I was free! I wish I had known about this path to freedom earlier. I thank God that I am now free of this horrible addiction. I wouldn’t be free without His help.”

Matthew’s testimony

“I didn’t have a pleasant childhood. Masturbation was a relief for me.

I remember it all started with reading my mother’s entertainment magazines (not adult) and it slowly turned into pornography, which is very accessible.

I try to have very, very high moral standards for myself; I don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t party. But sexual sin is something I kept doing in the dark – even though I judge people with sexual sins.

When I commit sexual sin, it is like I become a totally different person, with no God. Although I hated it, I was not able to stop.

• I knew that it is a sin to watch porn, but I still did it after repenting.
• I tried to suppress my urge to masturbate because it is a sin and I was afraid of God’s punishment, but that didn’t help me stop.
• On a few occasions, I went to strip clubs.
• For years, I often had “happy ending” massages where the masseur would masturbate me.

Of these sins, “happy ending” massage is the one that I hate the most. Yet it got worse and worse – especially when I felt disappointed, lonely, fearful, or anxious. It was a sort of temporary relief for me. When things got out of my control, I’d escape to get a massage. A lot of the time, I didn’t want to have a “happy ending” massage, but there were many temptations offered by the lady masseur that I couldn’t overcome. After the “happy ending” massages, I always felt a lot of self-hatred for sinning, regret and guilt, as well as a fear of God’s punishment.

I tried asking brothers-in-Christ for help, but they too couldn’t escape their own sexual sins. Some men advised me that we can’t get rid of it because it is a basic need, like eating, so we have to masturbate in order to reduce the chances of a more serious sexual sin. One brother-in-Christ even moved to the suburbs to avoid the temptation of sexual sin in the metropolitan.

Today, I am a different man.

I still have the urge of having sexual sin, but there are few truths that have stopped me from committing sexual sin.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

1. Being cleansed spiritually

I have gone through renewal prayer where I cut soul ties and repented of my sexual sins. I am closer with God now. I believe that if I fall into sexual sin again, it will be hard for me to get closer with God because of impurity.

2. Leaning unto the promises of God

Instead of feeling helpless or depressed over my circumstances (my circumstances never changed), I live a life of leaning onto Jesus’ promises by the grace of God.

3. Understanding how Satan works

Satan knows our past and our weak points. The enemy will constantly use people or events to trigger our insecurities, wound us, and give us negative thoughts to tempt us to sin and rebel against God – even if we don’t want to.

On the other hand, God will let us know our flaws and will heal us in His timing, if we make an effort to read the Bible and know Him.

I am a man with very low self-worth and I am used to working to “earn” my self-worth. The devil will use people to persuade, inspire, or manipulate me to “work” on my self-worth. This ultimately dominates my mind and makes me feel alone and anxious. Now, instead of seeking relief through sexual sin, I try to renew my mind and regain my self-worth from Jesus.

4. Worshipping the Lord

I make it a point to constantly worship the Lord, even at home. Whenever I feel that I don’t experience God during worship, I will examine myself to see if there is anything that has preoccupied me, any motive that is not pleasing to God, any adultery in my thoughts, or any idolatry of work, projects, relationships, churches, or pastors, and repent so that I make things right with God.

5. Time with the Lord

Whenever there is disappointment, the first thing to regain our peace is to spend time with Jesus, praise, and worship. Our flesh will always have the urge to find relief in an ungodly way, instead we should turn to Jesus more during this time.

One may assume that the root cause of sexual sin is sexual sin itself. No, I think it is mainly due to self-idolatry, because we are unwilling to surrender 100% to God due to pride (which is the first sin). May the Holy Spirit uproot our pride and humble us and free us from the trap of sexual sin.”

May this sharing be a blessing to you as you seek to love God with all your heart and offer your body as a living sacrifice to the Lord for His redemption.