Jesus brings doctor emotional healing

B grew up in a family that suffered many tragedies. In order to cope with the abandonment, abuse, and pain she experienced as a child, B suppressed her emotions. After being exposed to flawed Christian teachings, she became proud and religious, blind to her own sins. Following her husband’s transformation through the power of the Holy Spirit as a result of an inner healing and deliverance prayer, B humbled herself and sought God’s revelation for herself. Today, she has found freedom and hope. Praise God!

(See Chinese versions: 简体中文 > 耶稣带给医生情感的康复 | 繁體中文 > 耶穌帶給醫生情感的康復)

I grew up in a disjointed family that has been plagued by tragedy. 

When I was a little child, my mother left us to go study abroad – a separation that had an effect on my emotional wellbeing. My eight siblings and I never lived together as a family unit. I was in boarding school from age nine onwards.

In primary school, I was fostered by relatives on the weekends and suffered long-term abuse at the hands of an uncle.

When I was thirteen, my parents separated. This hit me so hard that I contemplated suicide. 

Thereafter, my father was mostly absent due to alcohol use and his social life. He later remarried twice.

There has been tragedy in every single family of my siblings; two brothers met premature death; two sisters suffered mental breakdown; another sister suffered successive miscarriages; she eventually conceived an autistic child; my youngest brother is divorced. I have been wheelchair-bound for the last fifteen years; needing fulltime help for my daily activities.

Because of the way we were brought up, each sibling dealt with the consequences of the family situation on their own.

As for me, I suppressed the memories and emotions connected with my sufferings deep down in my heart and never discussed them with anybody until I started preparing for prayer ministry – some of the memories had been tucked away for fifty years.

I came to Christ about thirty-three years ago and have been a member of the same church for the last thirty years. Until my illness, I was active in the ladies’ ministry and led a pre-teen Sunday School group helping to draw the children to Christ.

I introduced our three children to the Good Lord at an early age. All three became believers and continue to serve God.

The eldest son is about to graduate from seminary; while the younger son serves as lay pastor in his congregation.

In spite of all this good work for the Lord, I did not realise that there were things that hindered me in my relationship with God, until I witnessed a major breakthrough that my husband had in his relationship with the Heavenly Father last year, following his inner healing and deliverance prayer. I too desired to have an intimate relationship with the Father and to hear from the Holy Spirit, so I was led to do an inner healing and deliverance prayer myself the following year.

In the preparation for the prayer ministry, my Heavenly Father opened my eyes to who I really was; a sinner in need of forgiveness. I thank Him because in Romans 5:8 He shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

It also became clear that I needed healing for deep childhood wounds that led to suppressed emotions. 

I had been let down by my parents and relatives; and coped by not trusting others and depending on myself instead. This led to perfectionism – that I expected from myself and from others. I also had pride and anger issues.

Thanks to the prayer ministry, I now realise that I led a sinful life controlled by my desires; falsehoods, greed and lust. Even though I worshipped God and served in the church, I did not go to God to help me deal with the suppressed memories and emotions. Some were stuck so deep in my heart that I had a problem remembering them. I thank God for seeing the inner longings of my heart and starting me on a journey of emotional healing.

During the prayer session, I prayed for forgiveness for locking my emotions for so many years. 

I prayed for forgiveness for doubting God’s presence, care and love when my mother left me alone at an early age, when I was abused, and when my dad left my mother for other women.

The truth is that God was there all the time watching over me; and protecting me.

I thank God for His promise in Psalm 27:10 “Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.”

God also led me to recognise and repent of the occult and sins that kept me in spiritual bondage. 

Even though my paternal grandmother attended church services on and off, she was very superstitious and actively practised witchcraft. My grandmother had clay pots with strange things like roots, beads and some dry plants which were positioned around her house. There were some wooden objects hanging from trees along the boundary of her compound. Some of these things were for protection for herself and her two sons, following some inheritance dispute with my grandfather’s siblings. Such witchcraft was a major shadow hanging over our family.

The prayer counsellors explained that this had invited Satan to literally come to kill, steal from and destroy our family, resulting in the many tragedies each one of us has suffered. Unless I confessed and commanded the demonic spirits my grandmother had called upon to leave me in Jesus’ name, I would continue under the curses for the witchcraft she had brought upon our family.

John 10:10 ESV The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

So, In the name of Jesus, I commanded all spirits related to my grandmother away from me so I may be cleansed of them. I felt lighter and freer after this.

Next, I repented of yoking myself to worldly institutions – including religious institutions. I renounced all anti-Christ spirits and false teachings about God that I grew up believing.

It became clear that my relationship with God was based on human knowledge, rather than worshipping Him in spirit and in truth.

I prayed for the Father to forgive me for quenching the Spirit through my unbelief, my religiosity, my self-righteousness, and my personal efforts.

I renounced many inner vows that controlled my thinking – and in particular one I made in relation to the premature death of my two brothers; that I must lead my family to Christ. I blamed myself for not leading my elder brother to the Lord; and for not confirming if my younger brother had accepted Christ or not. And as a medical doctor, I also blamed myself for not telling my younger brother not to go to the operating theatre until all the tests were normal.

I have been angry at how they both left us so early. I released my elder brother – who was senselessly shot dead – into the arms of Jesus. I prayed for forgiveness for the guilt that I had for not reaching out to him to introduce him to God.

I renounced the inner vows I came to believe as a result of my health situation.

I renounced the lies that my nerves cannot transmit signals from my spine to muscles; that my condition is a result of neurological toxins; that my nerves have no sensation and that my synapses are not connected, when the truth is that they are connected. In the mighty name of Jesus, I reminded myself that God brought new life of three children through this body. If He can bring new life through me, then my health and wellbeing are in His hands.

I also renounced all the inner vows that I have believed over the years that have led me to be a perfectionist, depending on self and not trusting anyone. I now know that “If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness” (2 Corinthians 11:30).

I now know that I don’t need to be perfect. Only Jesus is perfect.

Jesus is the one who forgives my sins and cleanses me. All I need to do is acknowledge my sins and let Him forgive me.

I also surrendered my anxiety and fear for my family members who do not know Jesus.

I acknowledged that Jesus loves them more than I do. I prayed to the Father to replace the fear of my siblings not knowing Him with the Father’s love instead. I prayed to God to take care of my siblings; rather than me depending on my efforts to see them come to Christ. It is not me who saves people.

I forgave my parents for not being there for us and my father for his extramarital affairs. I forgave all those in whose hands I suffered abuse.

Most importantly, I forgave myself for my self-accusations.

As noted by the prayer counsellors, my God-given gift of empathy had been either overly suppressed or misdirected to myself.

At the inner healing and deliverance prayer session, I renounced the inner vow of saying that “I will not show my emotions”; I repented of using my flesh to suppress my emotions. I prayed that God help me submit all my emotions to Him.

I am praying that I will develop my gift of empathy and use it as guided by the Holy Spirit – rather than depending on my own understanding.

As I look back, even when there seemed to be no hope, I see that my loving Father protected me from several situations which would have turned much worse than they did. Not only was He looking over me; I thank Him for His love for me; I now know that full well.

Psalm 139:13-14 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I pray that God will turn my painful experiences into testimonies that can help others because – for those who turn to Him – Jesus turns all regrets to rejoicing in His time.

I came from a depth of hopelessness, not knowing which way to go – to a point where I now seek God for healing; in my body, mind and soul.

Emotionally, I am more in control of my temper. I remind myself to be quick to listen and slow to speak. I am more open to correction and accountability from my husband. I am learning that obedience to God comes before my will.

I am more grateful for the help that I get from different people – something that I had taken for granted in the past. In my humility, I now relate better to my adult children who are all believers under the guidance of the Holy Spirit; and I acknowledge that they need to submit to God rather than to me.

Through the prayer ministry, I have taken a big step that has brought me closer to my Heavenly Father; who I can now go to as His child. I can go to God freely; He loves me, and He has time for me. He is always present, ready to listen to me.

Through Him, I have hope. I am so grateful for that.

I look forward to the next stage of my journey with Him leading to an intimate relationship with the Father, communing with Him and hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit. It is a journey with ups and downs; I know that the Holy Spirit is dwelling in me, I need to speak to Him for guidance and I should learn to listen to Him.

I thank my Heavenly Father for His forgiveness, love, acceptance and redemption. I was blind but now I begin to see; and for that, I praise His Holy Name!