Jesus redeems lawyer’s bitterness towards men
K’s unhealthy views of men and relationships stemmed from her parents’ abusive and bitter relationship. As a result, she came to believe many subconscious lies about herself and how to relate with the opposite sex. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit revealed God’s truths to her and set her free during prayer counselling. Praise God!
Our family can have a huge influence on us.
In my first inner healing and deliverance prayer, I confessed the sin of idol worship on behalf of my family and dealt with generational curses. I also repented of my own participation in the occult and cut ties with all the idols and ritualistic practices.
In addition, I confessed two fears. One was that getting close to God would somehow separate me from my mom. The second was that the spirits my mom worships would somehow hurt her if I brought her to Jesus. I renounced those lies and affirmed that our God is bigger than the enemy.
Afterwards, I felt relieved as I understood the reasons for the conflicts that existed between my mom and me for so many years.
The spirits my mother had worshipped were out to steal and destroy all good things in our family but Jesus came to set us free from such destructive ways.
However, I noticed there were certain areas in my life that were not fully renewed in Christ, especially my perceptions on men. Thus, I decided to do a second inner healing and deliverance prayer. In this prayer session, I confessed the impact of my parents’ relationships on me.
There is a pattern of control at home where the woman dominates. My grandmother was very controlling over my dad and my mom. She even kept my mom’s identity cards in order to prevent her from leaving and to ensure that my mom would bear grandchildren for her and children for my dad.
The control issue was driven by fear and insecurity.
Somehow, I was affected by these generational patterns and carried a lot of fear too.
A core belief I inherited from my mom is that being vulnerable means I would get hurt. This led to a deep fear in my heart.
I felt sorry for my mom’s painful past and sympathised with her. As a result, I always wanted to follow whatever she wanted me to do, which included not allowing myself to be weak and to stay strong. I wanted to please my mother and idolised her.
I repented of putting my mom first before God and committed myself to Jesus and to live a life that pleases Jesus.
I understand that fear is created by Satan in order to make people worship him. I renounced this lie and re-affirmed that the perfect love from God drives out fear. Love also does not control others.
The prayer counsellors also reckoned that there is a spirit of Jezebel running in my family, and I commanded that spirit to leave me in the name of Jesus Christ.
My parent’s relationship is bad and was never harmonious.
Day and night, there would be constant quarrels between my parents, with verbal abuse against one another. My mom hates my dad so much and always cursed him. My mom used to tell my dad to die, that he was such a useless coward, full of rubbish and shit. Growing up, I learnt to also curse my dad.
My dad had been controlled by his mom throughout his life and did not know how to handle the situation at home, so he just cursed back. This affected me so much that I did not want to have any interaction with my dad.
This has led to broken views about other male figures.
When I was young, my friends said that I was tough, not feminine or gentle. Somehow, I began to believe that no man would like me because I was not gentle and did not know how to respect men.
Neither did I allow myself to like any man because to me, that would be a weakness. I did not want to be equal to men. I wanted to be stronger.
The truth is we are all created in God’s image and His likeness. God does not intend to create a cold, insensitive, and rude personality in me.
It is fine to be vulnerable. Even Jesus has emotions.
I did not realise that my relationship with my earthly dad affected my relationship with God, my Heavenly Father. I found it hard to differentiate between the image of my Heavenly Father and my dad.
I saw God as stern, passive, cold, mean, and cruel.
So I confessed that I did not trust Father God’s goodness and repented. I also repented of being angry with God for giving me this father with whom I could not enjoy father-daughter time together.
I repented of cursing my dad and not showing him respect.
When we curse our parents, we open the door to the enemy to work against us.
I repented of judging my dad for his behaviours in the past; for seeking sex for his own pleasure only, for seeing women as objects, for squandering money away, and for being not serious about life.
I also cut ties with my dad’s past behaviours and renounced that I can enjoy a genuine father-daughter relationship with God and see Him as a father, not just as an authoritative deity.
My prayer counsellors helped me understand that I will not be rebelling against my mom when I forgive my dad.
Forgiveness is about making my heart right before God. God has shown His love through Jesus and I have tasted His sweet love since my baptism afterwards.
God has called me out of darkness into His Light. I no longer have to yoked with my parents and can be released from their broken marriage. I can be set free by God’s power. My future marriage will not mirror my parents’ one.