Jesus sheds light on lawyer’s true feelings

N had difficulty focusing on God’s Word and sought a renewal prayer to get to the root of the distractions he faced. The Holy Spirit not only led him to cut ties with various Hindu rituals and idols that he was not aware of, but God also showed N his true feelings towards his parents, allowing him to confess his hidden bitterness and forgive them, and experience God’s grace and assurances as a result. Praise God!

(See Chinese versions: 简体中文 > 耶稣照亮律师的真情感 | 繁體中文 > 耶穌照亮律師的真情感)

I recently had my second renewal prayer and I share my testimony of our God’s love and grace.

I had requested for a second renewal prayer as I began to experience difficulties in concentrating while reading the Bible or listening to sermons. I also felt easily distracted with flashes of lewd thoughts.

I was born a Hindu and I turned to Christ in 2015. I had my first renewal prayer in 2020. This was a truly remarkable experience for many reasons. One of which is that I felt a deliverance from demonic spirits. My deliverance was marked by incessant burping which continued for quite some time before and during the prayer session.

My second renewal prayer started in a similar way although the burping was not as significant as the first.

As I was repenting of my past idol worshipping and involvement with occult practices and influences, as guided by the Holy Spirit, I began to burp more and more. This noticeably subsided when my prayers moved away from “cleaning up” my past occult involvements.

This time I was not only guided to cut ties with all Hindu gods (including Vishnu) but also all the avatars and incarnations of such gods.

It is clear that such demonic spirits were leaving me by the authority and power of Jesus Christ.

The Holy Spirit showed me that I was holding part of myself from God.

I had a tendency to run ahead of God’s guidance. I still harbored fear which drove a lot of my actions.

During the first renewal prayer, the Holy Spirit already showed me that I had become self-reliant and believed in my own strength. This had emanated from being ignored as a kid and experiencing a great level of isolation. I had started to lean on Jesus but I had been selective and would only ask Him for help on matters that I felt I could not handle myself.

I was guided to repent on some of the inner vows I had made and sought our God’s forgiveness for such inner vows.

Inner vows are like contracts or promises we make about ourselves. They represent us choosing our will over God’s and need to be revoked before we can experience the fullness of the Holy Spirit.

I had a tendency of accepting that things are uncontrollable and when bad things happened, I would simply shrug my shoulders and accept that “it is what it is” and that one should “get on with it”. This ignores the fact that God is sovereign and in control of all matters. I failed to recognise that it is about what God says that matters and it is God who decides what I will experience in life.

I used to feel that when things are going well, that such good things will not last. The truth is that Jesus wants us to live in abundance.

Carrying on with the theme of being self-reliant, I used to think that “I will take care of things”, “I will provide for my family” and things would be better under my watch. Once again, by thinking these thoughts, I have overlooked the fact Jesus is in charge of all things. He is the one who provides whether these are material matters or happiness.

I was reminded of James 4:13-17 which says : “Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.”

Apart from inner vows, the Holy Spirit also prompted my prayer counsellors and me to deal with certain family relationships.

The Holy Spirit took the lead to articulate some of my feelings concerning my family members that I was not even conscious of.

By making me aware of the issues, I was able to forgive them and bless them.

Of particular importance is my relationship with my earthly father. Growing up, I felt he never spent much time with us and regrettably I never really got to know him. It seems his priorities were elsewhere and I doubt he knew what was going on in my life.

The relationship with your earthly father may also be a reflection of the type of relationship with God as your Heavenly Father.

By forgiving my father, I will through His grace, be able to overcome any obstacle I may have had in accepting God as my Heavenly Father.

Towards the end of this renewal prayer, Lord Jesus encouraged me and said He will continue to help me in dealing with issues from my past and reminded me to stay focused on Him.

This second renewal prayer helped me to experience and reaffirm His love for me and that He is still working on me.

Sometimes the transformation may not be immediately noticeable, but I have moved from being a person that could not shed a tear to a person who now gets all teared up from a sad movie or event – an indication that the wall I had built around my heart is being dismantled.

I am just grateful to His love and grace for allowing me to be on this path towards freedom.