Uprooting trapped toxic emotions and their bad fruit

At the very beginning of His public ministry, Jesus made a clear statement about His mission, that He had been anointed with the Holy Spirit to preach good news, heal the broken-hearted and set them free. If we have been struggling to follow Jesus with great joy and rejoicing, it is likely because we have yet to experience this truth. We may even find ourselves held captive to patterns of sin, no matter how hard we try or pray. In our despair, we are tempted to (falsely) believe that God has forsaken us. The Bible tells us that it is the “sinful passions” of our fleshly desires that bear bad fruit. Every one of our desires is tied to an emotion. Until we can identify what that root emotion is, we will struggle to find real freedom from our sinful patterns. Here is how it works.

(See Chinese versions: 简体中文 > 根除被困的有毒情绪及其坏果 | 繁體中文 > 根除被困的有毒情緒及其壞果)

 

Luke 4:18 NKJV “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed;

Romans 7:5-6 ESV  For while we were living in the flesh, our sinful passions, aroused by the law, were at work in our members to bear fruit for death. But now we are released from the law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit and not in the old way of the written code.

God calls all emotions “very good”

At creation, God looked over all the emotions He designed and called them “very good” and gave us good and healthy ways to express them instinctively.

Genesis 1:31 NLT  … Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!…

Therefore, we see that babies and little children express their emotions freely, without reservation. When we are in God’s presence, we too can be instinctively childlike with all our emotions – whether positive or negative ones.

Luke 18:17 ESV  Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”

However, this is something we struggle to do as we grow up. We slowly learn that some emotions are “bad” or and must be locked away as a result of being rebuked, shamed, mocked, humiliated, or rejected for them.

The truth is, there are no bad emotions in God’s eyes. It is what we do with painful emotions that can lead to bad outcomes.

God created every emotion for a purpose. Just as God speaks to us through the Bible, He can also use our emotions to draw our attention to issues that need addressing.

God invites us to give Him our anxious emotions and repent

Our emotional states can, in fact, reflect the health of our souls. When we feel joyful and peaceful, our souls are well. If we feel heavy, restless, fearful, or agitated, our souls are probably unwell too.

2 Corinthians 13:11 ESV  Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.

Psalm 32:3-5 NLT  When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

No one likes feeling emotional distress.

Thankfully, God invites us to confess and release such feelings to Him. The word used in the Bible is “to cast,” which is similar to flinging or throwing. We are not to carry burdens of anguish, shame, sorrow, guilt, and regret, we are to fling them over to God. Once we are relieved of our emotional burdens, we will find following God’s commandments easier.

Psalm 55:22 ESV  Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

From young, we learnt to be the masters of our emotions

Casting our anxieties to God takes humility because, from young, we have all learnt to take control and “handle them on our own.” This is reinforced by a world that tells us to “get a hold of yourself” and master our anxious emotions. Otherwise, we risk being labelled “weak,” “melodramatic,” “too sensitive,” “childish,” or “foolish”. Out of fear of such stigmas, we begin to categorise some emotions as good and some as bad.

1 Peter 5:6-11 ESV  Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Because we all have an inbuilt fight or flight mechanism that responds to any sort of danger, we will in turn, also try to fight off or run away from “bad” emotions. Such patterns tend to develop early where, as children, we were not taught how to respond to distressing emotions in life-giving ways. In fact, we may even have been shamed for the very feelings that God calls “very good”.

Many of us develop unhealthy ways to cope with distressing emotions, where we:

• Harden our hearts,
• Bury uncomfortable feelings,
• Numb ourselves by doing something else,
• Distract ourselves by keeping busy,
• Put on a mask and pretend to be fine, and
• Convince ourselves we are okay and don’t need anything or anyone, and so on.

Hebrews 3:15 ESV  As it is said, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.”

None of these “fight or flight” responses restore us to emotional health. They are merely coping mechanisms that soothe us in the short run but will lead to a toxic build-up over the long run as we accumulate more distressing emotions as we grow older – until we learn how to cast them all to God one day. Thankfully, the God who created us has the capacity to cleanse and detoxify our hearts and make us new.

Psalm 51:10 ESV  Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.

Toxic emotions can remain trapped inside us

Brain imaging tests show that our brains keep a record of all our experiences and emotions in our subconscious. We may not consciously remember all of them but it is literally impossible for our brains to forget anything.

This is perhaps why people who have had near-death experiences say they miraculously recalled all their life events in vivid detail before they came back to life. Our brains and bodies will remember every single detail – what was said and done, how we felt, what we thought, how we reacted, and how other people responded to us.

Of all our experiences, it is the negative ones that tend to leave an indelible mark on us. Thankfully, God created us with an innate ability to bounce back from suffering and pain. Severe, prolonged, or repeated fear and distress, however, will leave deep trauma wounds and crush our spirits.

Proverbs 18:14 ESV  A man’s spirit will endure sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?

Trauma is not limited to physical incidents such as accidents, war, sickness, or murder. It includes painful social experiences that can be equally distressing, such as:

• Abandonment
• Betrayal
• Fear and terror
• Humiliation
• Isolation
• Neglect
• Rejection
• Shame
• Not being forgiven etc.

Emotional pain from distressing social experiences can even feel like physical pain. This is because the areas of our brain related to physical pain are also triggered by emotional trauma. The Bible says that the sting of someone’s rash and unkind words can feel like “sword thrusts”. Anyone who has been through a painful breakup or betrayal will know what it is like to feel as if we had been literally stabbed in the chest.

Proverbs 12:18 ESV  There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Whether we like it or not, such toxic emotions never go away. They only get stored in our brains and bodies until we ask God to cleanse us and set us free.

Signs of trapped toxic emotions

Some of us may find that just talking about our past can stir up uncomfortable feelings. This is one sure sign that there are still toxic emotions trapped inside us.

Here are some other possible signs of trapped emotions:

• Lack of the fruit of the Holy Spirit – We feel no joy, love, or peace. We carry a sense of heaviness and lethargy. Life feels empty.
• Aches, pain, and tension – There are dull aches and pains in our bodies, starting from our heads and shoulders, down to our stomachs. Our body muscles tend to tense up and we find it hard to relax. We don’t sleep very well.
• Bitterness – We tend to be pessimistic, suspicious, and/or depressed. We feel as like the world has been and will always be unfair towards us.
• Wrath and anger – We have such intense emotions towards certain triggers that we can’t help but overreact in response. We have to work hard at keeping our anger under control.

Trapped emotions have a way to bubble over, no matter how hard we try to keep them in check. We will inadvertently hurt those closest to us as a result. Our trapped toxic emotions will poison our relationships.

We grieve the Holy Spirit when we hold on to toxic emotions

The fruit of the Holy Spirit comprises three primary emotions; love, joy, and peace.

Galatians 5:22-23 ESV …  But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

When we continue to hold on to toxic emotions (consciously or subconsciously) that are contrary to the fruit of the Holy Spirit, we grieve the Holy Spirit and defile His temple.

Ephesians 4:30-31 ESV  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

1 Corinthians 6:19 ESV  Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,

Toxic emotions block us from experiencing the love that the Holy Spirit is pouring into us. This is one reason why we may intellectually know that God is loving, but we can’t seem to feel His love in our hearts. We can then be easily misled by Satan into thinking that God has forgotten or abandoned us. Such thoughts are based on our misguided feelings, not on the truth.

Romans 5:5 NIV  … God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Ephesians 4:30-31 explicitly states that toxic emotions such as bitterness, wrath, and anger grieve the Holy Spirit.

These emotions do not operate on their own.

Bitterness usually comes together with other toxic emotions such as jealousy, resentment, anger, (self) victimisation, self-righteousness, and so forth etc.

Wrath and anger, on the other hand, are known as secondary emotions because they are driven by a whole variety of other primary emotions. These range from feeling abused, betrayed, forsaken, and abandoned to feeling snubbed, overlooked, neglected, isolated, and forgotten.

Our trapped emotions make us easy prey for Satan

Every decision we make is influenced by our memories, past experiences, and current feelings. Sometimes the trapped toxic emotions that are linked to our memories and past experiences can confuse us about what we are really feeling currently.

Let’s illustrate this with a real-life example.

A leader at church found himself throwing objects at his wife whenever they had heated debates, in an effort to stop her from talking further. He could not control his anger, even though he loved God and his wife, and wanted to be a godly role model for his family.

Feeling grieved and guilty about his own behaviour, he initially thought that his over-reaction might have been triggered by the lack of respect he felt from his wife. Nonetheless, he humbled himself and decided to ask the Holy Spirit to search his heart and lead him to the truth.

Psalm 139:23-24 NIV  Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

John 16:13 ESV  When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.

God then brought back a memory from his teenage years where he was publicly reprimanded by his father in front of all his friends during sports practice over 20 years ago. At that time, he felt extremely humiliated, betrayed, and ashamed but could not say anything. Because he did not know how to express his feelings at that point in time, either immediately or subsequently, his toxic emotions remained stuck inside him.

As a result of consulting the Holy Spirit, the leader realised that it was not his wife’s disrespect that triggered his wrath but rather, it was her body gestures that subconsciously reminded him of his dad’s mannerisms on that awful day. He had lost control because he carried unresolved emotions for more than two decades.

After he repented for his outburst before God and forgave his father for that incident in Jesus’ name, this brother-in-Christ has been able to keep his emotions in check and work on his marriage in a God-honouring manner. This is how he began to bear good fruit as he humbled himself before God and submitted to the Holy Spirit’s guidance on his feelings.

Ephesians 4:32 ESV  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Matthew 3:8 ESV  Bear fruit in keeping with repentance.

From this example, we can observe that:

• The real emotions driving this man’s outbursts were not rooted in the present but in the past.
• A person’s trapped bitterness, wrath, and anger can not only be triggered by words but also by one’s sense of sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch. In this case, it was triggered by what the man saw.
• The man had become so accustomed to his fleshly desire to defend himself (as a result of feeling very defenceless as a teenager) that he was no longer consciously aware of it. It was embedded as a subconscious reflex. He probably also lived by an inner vow such as, “I must protect myself from being humiliated again.” Such were the “sinful passions” that made him easy prey for Satan to manipulate and control.
• Satan waits for our sinful passions to be triggered before he attacks because he knows this is when we are least sober-minded or conscious.
• The devil will tempt us to sin (attack one’s wife) by targeting what feels like a legitimate emotional desire (defend oneself) and distract us with lies (because the wife is being disrespectful).
• After we fall for Satan’s lies and sin against God, the devil then returns to accuse and torment us with guilt and condemnation for the “bad fruit” of our lives. This is how he “devours” us.
• As believers, we must turn over our subconscious inner worlds to God for Him to renew. This is why God’s Word says we need to love Him with all our mind – that includes both the conscious and the subconscious parts of our mind.
• If we find that we are unable to respond to someone in a calm, respectful and gentle manner, it is a signal that our inner subconscious worlds are not aligned with the Holy Spirit. When our subconscious is right with God, we will experience love, peace and joy.

1 Peter 5:8 NIV  Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Mark 12:30 ESV  And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’

1 Corinthians 2:10-11 ESV  … For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.

For another real-life example of trapped emotions, please refer to this testimony: Jesus reveals root of anxieties and eczema to prayer counsellor.

Also, see Inner vows must be revoked

Re-visit our memories, release our trapped emotions, and extend forgiveness

Trapped toxic emotions make us spiritually unhealthy and less able to stand up against Satan’s temptations, deceptions, and accusations. To become healthy again, we need to flush out those trapped emotions.

The good news is that even if we have forgotten the events that first triggered our sinful passions, the Holy Spirit knows what they were. He has been with us since our inception at birth and He is committed to renewing and regenerating us. We simply need to ask Him to search our hearts and show us the anxious feelings and thoughts that drive our sinful passions.

Titus 3:5 ESV  he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,

Healing and freedom will come when we can finally acknowledge and express our trapped toxic emotions, repent of our fleshly passions, and forgive those who have been the source of our emotional distress.

A sample prayer

Here is an example of how we can invite the Holy Spirit to search our hearts and lead us to the truth so that we can be set free.

Galatians 5:16-17,24-25 ESV  But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.

• Holy Spirit, I am not feeling at peace, joyful or loving towards others. Is there something in my subconscious that needs Your healing and deliverance?
• What are the subconscious sinful passions that are driving me? Please search my heart and show me where they come from. When did they first develop? (Please wait for the Holy Spirit to bring back any memory. Take this time to confess all the painful emotions from that period of time or that specific event.)
• What were the subsequent thoughts or lies that I believed? Are there any inner vows or negative self-beliefs that I need to renounce and replace with the truth? (Please renounce them and declare the truth about God’s goodness over our souls. In the example above, the man might have said, “I do not need to defend myself because God is my Protector, He will lead me to safety. He will never betray or humiliate me, He is a good God.”)
• Did I judge or sin against anybody? (Please repent and ask God for forgiveness.)
• Who do I need to forgive? (Please forgive and bless them in Jesus’ name.)
• Do I need to forgive myself for anything? Unforgiveness towards oneself often leads to a spirit of performance and perfectionism. (Please forgive yourself and repent of trying to make things right on our own strength.)
• What did I believe about You and Your character? Did I wrongly accuse You and blaspheme Your holy name? (Please repent and ask God for forgiveness.)
• Holy Spirit, please renew my mind, my heart, and my spirit in Jesus’ name.

John 8:31-32 SV  So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Luke 6:27-28 ESV  “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.

Also, see The importance of emotional healing 

Some quick clarifications

There are a few things to keep in mind as we begin a journey of recognising and confessing our trapped subconscious emotions.

1. A tender heart is a reflection of God, not a sign of weakness

This world does not value a tender heart. In fact, it ridicules those who show compassion, kindness, and mercy as being weak and sensitive. Yet the Bible calls us to be tenderhearted because a tender heart can be moved by the Holy Spirit to do what is right in God’s eyes. A hardened heart tends to rebel against God.

Ephesians 4:32 ESV  Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

1 Peter 3:8 ESV  Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.

We worship a God who is “merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love” – all these are emotional words. As His followers, we should not be aware of our “soft” emotions because a tender heart reflects the character of God Himself.

Psalm 86:15 ESV   But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.

2. Emotional self-control does not suppress how we feel

Part of the fruit of the Holy Spirit is self-control. That does not mean we should suppress how we feel. Rather, we should cast all anxious feelings to God and invite the Holy Spirit to renew our emotions so we can practice love and self-control.

Controlling our emotions using our own strength is very exhausting and usually fruitless. We will still be misled by our own deceiving hearts. No one can fully understand powerful human emotions better than God who created them in the first place. He can help guide us if we ask Him for wisdom.

Jeremiah 17:9 ESV  The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

James 1:5 ESV  If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him

3. Learning to recognise unfamiliar feelings

Those of us who have practiced “fight or flight” from our emotions since young may not know how to name our different feelings.

Some studies say that we have 27 basic emotions but most of us only know five – happiness, fear, anger, love, or hatred – because these are the emotions that society tells us are safe to express. It can be a struggle to identify shame, sadness, grief, confusion, and so forth.

Having a name for our emotions is helpful because it allows us to express how we truly feel exactly. Thankfully, this is a skill we can pick up and also ask the Holy Spirit to teach us.

Also, see Vocabulary to unplug buried emotions and receive God’s healing 

4. Beware new age healing for our emotions

There are many new-age methodologies to release trapped emotions. While these can certainly appear to be helpful, we need to keep in mind that only the Holy Spirit gives us new life. God is the only One who is capable of cleansing and regenerating our spirits. Anytime we turn to another source of emotional healing outside of God, there is a danger of idolatry and being misled by Satan, who can also disguise himself as an “angel of light” who brings (false) hope and help.

Titus 3:5 ESV  he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,

2 Corinthians 11:14-15 ESV   And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.

5. Healing emotionally can also lead to physical healing

It is now widely accepted that enduring emotional distress over long periods of time can lead to chronic health problems, such as digestive problems, diabetes, heart diseases, cancers, mental sicknesses, skin disorders, and so forth. Casting our trapped toxic emotions to God and repenting of our sinful passions often bears the unexpected good fruit of healing from our physical ailments too.

Proverbs 17:22 ESV  A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Matthew 3:8 ESV  Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.