Watch: Brian’s testimony

Brian felt unloved and depressed as a result of childhood experiences. He was also diagnosed with a medical condition called ulcer colitis by the age of 25. In the midst of his struggles, God sent a friend to remind him of God’s truth and character, that He is love. As Brian repented of the lies he had fallen for, he started to experience miracles afterward. Praise God! Watch his testimony below. 

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Video transcript

Because of how I feel unloved at home and at school, I felt that God also did not love me.

That is completely false. Rather than allowing myself to be in a place of depression, being unloved and disappointment, I chose to allow the Word of God to renew my mind.

I’m Brian, I’m 28 years old. I was born in Canada but I am raised in Hong Kong. At school, I was always being compared to my peers, and I also feel there is a lot of pressure from my parents, from my teachers, that I have to perform well. My grades weren’t particularly good so therefore I feel like I’m always not measuring up to people’s expectations.

I was also bullied in school a lot because I’m a very emotional person and that is often being mistaken as weakness. My classmates would fight me or say really nasty things to me. I felt like I had to suck it up and not let my emotions show.

I would talk to myself in the mirror and tell myself that no one loves me.

When I was 25 years old, I was diagnosed with a medical condition called ulcer colitis which basically means that there would be ulcers formed on the wall of my large intestine, and that causes a lot of bleeding, stomach pain, backaches. So, I was told that this is a chronic illness. I was very devastated because I was at a very young age. I was just 25, and I can’t imagine living with this condition for the rest of my life.

And I looked at a lot of online resources. It is pretty ugly because it will tell me of all the worst-case scenarios that can happen. I was even told by doctors that if it gets very severe, I would have to get my colon removed.

I have labelled myself as a patient with a chronic illness and that can never be healed.

And I also question God, why would He allow me to have this illness. I question whether He loves me, because I was so conditioned to think that He does not love me.

So, this went on for two years, just struggling with this medical condition as well as being in a place where I felt depressed and unloved again. Until I met a friend who has brought light into my life, kind of reminded me of my identity in Christ and the character of God, which is love, and He loves unconditionally and that He does allow us to suffer for a bit, but we can boast in our weakness because His strength and glory can be revealed in our weaknesses. And I was led to a point where I needed to repent for all the curses that I had said over myself, for labelling myself as being handicapped or unloved.

I also had to repent for having this very warped idea of who God is, completely untrue.

Because God is full of love, mercy. He has redeemed my health by dying on the cross and He has complete power to heal me and He triumphs over all statistics and what doctors say.

So in order to understand my identity in Christ, I had to look into a lot of these painful memories that I have accumulated since childhood and going back to these memories and allowing the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth; how God sees the whole situation and how God sees me. There’s a lot of comfort knowing that Jesus was always with me and that His feelings towards me have never changed. I was always loved.

All the painful memories are only going to develop me and that He could redeem all painful feelings so that I could be refined as gold.

After I had my mind renewed, things have changed drastically. The reports are showing miracles. The inflammatory index has dropped significantly. I was very confident that I am healed and I believe that God has the absolute power to heal me. I have also changed so much compared to a couple of years ago. I’m no longer upset, sad, disappointed or feeling rejected. I live in freedom knowing that God has my back no matter what.

If you are taking care of a friend or anyone who is struggling with mental bondage, I want to encourage you and let you know that you are very important to them.

It’s important that you listen to them, that you give them the time and space for that healing to happen, to encourage them with the word of God.

It might not happen instantly because it is not as easy as being told to correct your thinking. It really takes time and the power of the Holy Spirit for your spirit to be healed and for your mind to be renewed.

But for you to be able to empathise with that person, to lower yourself and be in the same position and try your best to understand is very important. Every feeling that person has is valid. Don’t belittle those feelings.